Fitness Blog

We all change, regardless of whether or not we try not to. We learn things. Life imprints new ideas into our minds.

Despite this, those who value us often wish we would not change for a variety of reasons.

Sometimes they want us to stay the same because of nostalgia.

Other times they got something out of the old you that they are afraid they will lost in the new you.

But beyond that, people often fear your change because they fear the unknown and they fear what might come next from you. This is a selfish reaction because those in your life are not trying to change you for you.

Instead, they are trying to change you for them. So how do you resist them without losing them as friends?

Everyone has a right to express their thoughts and feelings

Our emotions are a part of who we are. When your friends express dismay over your change, remember that when people are expressing their thoughts and feelings, they are giving you an opportunity to understand why they think what they do.

At the very least, you will know what you are up against. But if you care about the person who is resisting your change, you will probably want to know what is causing that feeling of  sadness and how to fix that person’s sadness over your change.

Just pay attention to what your loved one is saying. If they ask you any questions about your change, give them a respectful answer as to why you are changing the way you are.

State your position as clearly and articulately as possible so that your loved ones understand where you’re coming from.

Spend time getting to know you

Do not let other people overwhelm you. Be aware that you need time to sort through your thoughts and feelings so that you do not find yourself manipulated by others.

Think carefully to what your friends are saying and compare this to the reasons why you began changing in the first place.

Recall your experiences before changing or taking decisions. Then think analytically about what other people are saying. Are they right? If you really think they are right, then reverse your course.

Are they only partially right? Then partially push yourself in the direction that they want you to go. Are they completely wrong? Then ignore them. Why would you want to do something that is going to make your life worse for people who are wrong?

Depression seems to be a sign of the times we live in, with more people suffering from it across the globe.

There are many medicines that can be prescribed to alleviate depression, but before seeking medical intervention first try and see if you can help yourself.

Often there is no one there to ask how you are feeling, so you have no outlet and things can get bottled up inside.

By writing in a journal, it means that your feelings and thoughts are let out and will help you to understand possibly, what causes the unhappiness that you feel with your life.

Exercise in any form will be good for the mind, a brisk walk, yoga practice or a type of routine that you will enjoy could make a big difference to your mental well being. Do not force yourself to do something you do not like, this will have a very negative effect on your sense of self.

As you perform your chosen activity let your mind discharge all its worries and think things through ultimately clearing your head.Although it can be daunting at first, getting out and meeting people will be a big help.

Look out for groups or organizations that might interest you, if you like gardening join a club that meets regularly in the summer. Local papers often advertise these different social groups, detailing places and times where they meet in your area.

You can try and find an activity that will change your attitude and help bring you out of your dark place. Voluntary work, for example can be very rewarding and provide a great sense of self worth.

Some of us waste our money on new possessions on a regular basis.

I knew a man who purchased a new hammer every time he couldn’t find his old one.

Being wasteful can put an economic toll on our bank account by forcing us to spend money. But hoarding can be equally troublesome.

Especially for those with obsessive-compulsive disorder and poor impulse control, hoarding can hamper a home owner’s ability to work and manage daily activities.

Clutter also simply looks bad and creates a home full of dust-collectors. Even worse, many pack rats refuse to return borrowed items. Being a compulsive hoarder is often similar to stealing in many cases.

Causes

Compulsive hoarders often have all sorts of fears that drive their hoarding. Many pack rats think that any one of their possessions might become useful someday.

Some pack rats think that normally useless items have sentimental value, while other items might be missed by others if they are discarded.

Compulsive hoarders are also often afraid of being wasteful and attempt to hoard items in order to be economical.

However, truly important possessions are often lost and require hoarders to buy replacements of the lost item.

It’s all literally in your head

Many researchers have actually discovered that some brain abnormalities might be the cause of compulsive hoarding. Brain lesions, strokes, surgeries, and infections can all lead to the compulsive hoarding disorder.

But compulsive hoarding can also come from past psychological trauma. Horrible family experiences and past stress can lead to symptoms of compulsive hoarding.

Sure, some people might hoard simply out of habit, but there are times when pack rats need a proper psychiatric evaluation and diagnosis in order to determine the cause and possible treatments for the individual suffering from compulsive hoarding.

Cleaning up the clutter

If compulsive hoarding comes from bad habits or past emotional stress, you might need cognitive behavioral therapy in order to recover from compulsive hoarding.

Oftentimes, psychotherapists will help patients develop healthy thinking patterns and thought exercises that will help the pack rat overcome anxieties over getting rid of unneeded possessions.

The medical treatment used for compulsive hoarding is the serotonin reuptake inhibitor medications. These are generally not effective because compulsive hoarders might not realize the harmful effect that hoarding has on their lives.

In order to cure compulsive hording, patients need to be able to identify their problem before effective treating can occur.

How you can recover from compulsive hoarding?

To get rid of your pack rat mentality, you must become aware that you are capable of providing for yourself and your family. You do not need all of the things that you hoard. Not only that, being a pack rat can often cost you money.

Many pack rats go out and buy new possessions that they thought they lost because those essential possessions are lost among the clutter.

Get rid of reading materials that you haven’t read in a month and every week get rid of things that you can’t find a foreseeable use for in the future.

Committing yourself to one person for the rest of your life is huge and being married takes a lot of effort.

Like almost everything, communication is the key and as long as you keep talking to each other any problems can and will be overcome.

Once you have chosen your life partner you must stick together through thick and thin, get to know each others’ weaknesses and celebrate your strengths. Try and do things together, find out what interests you both and take time out to relax in each others’ company.

Having external interests can also be beneficial; it would be very unhealthy just to do everything together. If you can get a good balance it can keep a relationship interesting as well as strong. Compromise will have to happen so it is detrimental to be stubborn and not give way sometimes to the needs of your partner.

Make the time to talk and do not let worries fester, as they will just eat away at things and your relationship will quickly fall apart. In life, there is always something going down and just so in a marriage, from the children to business matters and financial affairs nothing is ever going to be easy. A marriage is something that must be nurtured and looked after.

There are very many reasons why a couple chooses to go there separate ways and no-one takes breaking up as an easy option. However there are counselors trained to help couples through their problems and sometimes an outside party can be a big help for both parties.

Why do we have relationships in the first place? Some relationships bring us happiness and companionship.

Other relationships bring us material benefits. Ultimately, relationships are meant to be rewarding.

However, there are times when relationships get in the way of other relationships, work and time alone. Any time spent on one relationship takes your time away from another relationship.

Some days, loneliness sets in. Other days, the phone seems to ring off the hook. What do you do when your relationships feel unmanageable?

What’s the most important thing in life?

How do we know which relationships have a greater priority over others? In the 21st century, many women are torn between their relationship with their children and their relationship with their bosses.

Many mothers and fathers feel that they must work out of necessity, but no guilt is worse than the guilt of having neglected a developing child.

Ranking your priorities

Though children and finances should always be top priorities, other priorities are difficult to rank. If enough money is being brought into the household, should the father really take that promotion that will take him far away from the home?

Should your friend, who is in the middle of a breakup, take priority over your other friends? What if all of your friends are going through breakups?

Other “obligations”

How many relationships do you have? Do you have a spouse? Do you have children? Do you have parents? Relatives? Friends? Acquaintances? A best friend? Clients? Let’s say you only have friends? Let’s say you have dozens of friends who are always calling and wanting to hang out? What do you do?

Reciprocity in Relationships

Any time you give to one relationship is time taken away from another relationship. Barring your relationship with your children, every relationship should have some type of mutual benefit.

If your friend is not willing to give the same attention and empathy as you to the relationship, this friend does not deserve as much of your time as a friend who shows a willingness to listen to you and understand the real you. Of course, if you expect this out of a relationship, you should also give the same back.

Be open about your feelings and your business

If you feel bogged down, let it be known. At the very least, you will see which of your friends are takers.

For many of your less self-centered friends, you will do them a favor by clarifying that you are not avoiding them but simply really short on time. Unless blinded by ego, your friends should understand that you cannot only be so many places at once.

Learn to say no

This is the most difficult step to follow for most people. None of us like to see the look of disappointment that stretches across a friend’s face. Even at a young age, we’ve always had a desire to please others. For this reason, we must practice saying it all the more.

The no word is a tricky one. Say it too much and you come across as incompetent and selfish. When saying the no word, remember that you are not saying no to the relationship or the other partner’s happiness. You are saying no to stress and exhaustion. You are saying yes to happiness and free time.